So all the time when I tell people I work in a toy store, they say something along the lines of "O how fun, I bet you get to play with the toys all the time." But in reality it's not like that. Yes, we play with the toys sometimes, but not a lot. Working at Funfinity is not what many people would expect, so I'm going to tell you some things we've done that you probably never would have expected.
1. Helicopter rides from Jimmy (if you don't know what a helicopter ride is, ask Jimmy. I'm sure he'd be glad to show you)
2. Shoveling gravel (that was my first day. It's cold and wet and I'm in the back shoveling gravel).
3. Sending your bosses kids to time out.
4. Staying up until 2 in the morning shipping out packages
5. Telling people they can't return their half used chocolate bar.
6. Getting beat up by Lynn
7. Changing the diaper of your boss' kid (Never had to do that personally, but it happened more than once.)
8. Driving the giant delivery truck that you're pretty sure is going to fall apart any second.
9. Filling in window wells
10. Working in a warehouse during winter when it's colder inside than outside.
11. Jumping inside a dumpster to look for boxes.
12. Losing weight at Christmas time
13. Being told if you fall off the ladder, you're fired before you hit the ground.
14. Using a toilet jack that's got a strong enough tension to break your fingers if you lose control.
15. Moving two tons of chocolate and trying to stack them so they won't fall and kill someone.
16. Getting kicked in the chest by your boss (no, not an accident. Also not intentionally meant to hurt me, but still)
17. Getting paid in chocolate (only happened to one person, he was underage and just wanted to help out a little. Since they couldn't legally hire him yet they paid him with chocolate)
18. Realizing that you can't wear white t-shirts at work anymore because the boxes leave marks.
19. Hearing the sound of tape guns while you sleep.
20. Seriously considering moving to a country where they don't celebrate Christmas.
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Friday, October 7, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Stolen Sentences
So for my creative writing class we have this assignment called "Stolen Sentences". Basically we're graded on our evesdropping skills. If I hear a good sentence, I write it down. So I thought I'd share some with you. Anonymity has been kept in part to protect privacy, and another part because I can't remember half of them.
"Spanish is now a religion"
"So the plan is you come up with all the ideas and the other guys just try to make it work?"
"I'm trying to get something out of me, and it will be blue!" (the kid was about three, so I don't think even he knows what he was trying to say)
"I forgot last night when I was sleeping"
"You won't get in trouble, it's your birthday" (so apparently on your birthday you can get away with anything)
"Any excuse to hit Nephi is a good excuse"
"I think most Scottish foods were dares made by inebriated Scottish men"
"Don't listen to me it's just the Gospel according to Luke. Wait, there's already one of those..."
"I've had too many experiences not to worry"
"That's dumb. O well, I don't judge. O wait, I just did"
"I've neglected them all for the sake of the garage and the shed and the dirt"
"I thought she hated me but now she's all excited to see me. I'm scared"
"Whenever you get on the top bunk I have the irrational fear that the board's gonna snap" "I don't know if that's irrational..."
"Don't try to date him, he's thirty"
"Before you freak out, his name is collin"
"It's a problem cuz I'm either short or I'm slow" (girl wearing high heels)
"They need to make a BYU class on 'how to speak girl'"
"Procrastination doesn't matter in eternity!"
"If I gave you a piece of crap for free, would you take it? Cuz that's what you got"
"Don't die or let anyone else"
"Even brother donaldson could eat it!" (tyler talking about this play-dough type toy at work)
"Everything is easier in a dream"
"It's an 8 o'clock class, so I'm the only one there. Everyone else is asleep"
"Anatomy is cool because while you're looking at the muscles you can grab yours and say 'Hey, I have one of those'"
"You made me lunch AND dinner? You're like my wife" "Yeah, just don't be expecting a goodnight kiss or anything"
"She headbutted my spine!"
"How'd your DNA turn out?"
"You do more things on accident than you do on purpose."
"I'm not really a reader, it makes you feel human emotion."
"I'm glad my boredom pleases you"
"Five guys driving up a secluded mountain, listening to classical music. This car ride just got very awkward."
"If I can find the source of the yelling, it will stop."
"Do you consider where you're from to be pretty Canadian?" "umm, it's Canada"
"It's easier for the pretty girl to get the silly boy than it is for the silly boy to get the pretty girl"
"It's a fountain of youth at every green light"
"Times have changed and they're less fun"
Hope you enjoyed, even the ones that were more thought provoking than funny
"Spanish is now a religion"
"So the plan is you come up with all the ideas and the other guys just try to make it work?"
"I'm trying to get something out of me, and it will be blue!" (the kid was about three, so I don't think even he knows what he was trying to say)
"I forgot last night when I was sleeping"
"You won't get in trouble, it's your birthday" (so apparently on your birthday you can get away with anything)
"Any excuse to hit Nephi is a good excuse"
"I think most Scottish foods were dares made by inebriated Scottish men"
"Don't listen to me it's just the Gospel according to Luke. Wait, there's already one of those..."
"I've had too many experiences not to worry"
"That's dumb. O well, I don't judge. O wait, I just did"
"I've neglected them all for the sake of the garage and the shed and the dirt"
"I thought she hated me but now she's all excited to see me. I'm scared"
"Whenever you get on the top bunk I have the irrational fear that the board's gonna snap" "I don't know if that's irrational..."
"Don't try to date him, he's thirty"
"Before you freak out, his name is collin"
"It's a problem cuz I'm either short or I'm slow" (girl wearing high heels)
"They need to make a BYU class on 'how to speak girl'"
"Procrastination doesn't matter in eternity!"
"If I gave you a piece of crap for free, would you take it? Cuz that's what you got"
"Don't die or let anyone else"
"Even brother donaldson could eat it!" (tyler talking about this play-dough type toy at work)
"Everything is easier in a dream"
"It's an 8 o'clock class, so I'm the only one there. Everyone else is asleep"
"Anatomy is cool because while you're looking at the muscles you can grab yours and say 'Hey, I have one of those'"
"You made me lunch AND dinner? You're like my wife" "Yeah, just don't be expecting a goodnight kiss or anything"
"She headbutted my spine!"
"How'd your DNA turn out?"
"You do more things on accident than you do on purpose."
"I'm not really a reader, it makes you feel human emotion."
"I'm glad my boredom pleases you"
"Five guys driving up a secluded mountain, listening to classical music. This car ride just got very awkward."
"If I can find the source of the yelling, it will stop."
"Do you consider where you're from to be pretty Canadian?" "umm, it's Canada"
"It's easier for the pretty girl to get the silly boy than it is for the silly boy to get the pretty girl"
"It's a fountain of youth at every green light"
"Times have changed and they're less fun"
Hope you enjoyed, even the ones that were more thought provoking than funny
Monday, September 19, 2011
Haikus
I figured I wanted to start putting on some of the things I've started writing. We recently had to write haikus in my creative writing class, so here you go. I know some of them aren't too specific on the syllable count, but who cares? My teacher didn't.
Nothing but chaos
But within it all, a pause
As old friends meet again
Incessant ramblings
I am bored out of my mind
When will I get out?
My hands are shaking
In my mind the question comes
How do I make her mine?
Falling asleep
In the middle of the day
Time to take a nap
Too many boxes
Not enough space for them all
What do we do now?
Her precious laughter
Makes my whole day better
Homework can wait
Smell of summer rain
Brings peace to my troubled soul
But pain lingers still.
I'm planning on soon putting up a story (in pieces) so I look forward to any feedback people have.
Monday, September 12, 2011
How to speak girl
My friend and I were talking last night how BYU needs to teach a class on "How to speak girl". The following story will explain why. He wanted to ask a girl out, so he texted her (yes, I know that is generally frowned upon, but that's his method) and asked "What are you doing Friday night?"
If you are not a guy, this in fact means "I'm going to ask you out pretty soon but I want to see if you're going to be able to go first before I risk it." To which she answers, "I'm going shopping with my sister," We're both left not knowing what that means. I mean more than the fact that she's going shopping. Does that mean "I'm too busy to go with you that night, or ever for that matter", or is it "Alas! I have some plans I am not able to cancel! Mayaps another day, my love," or does it mean "I kinda have plans but they might be open to change,"? Way too complicated for us (or maybe we're just overthinking this, also a possibility). The conversation between them continued, and so he still asked her out for Friday, figuring he could see if she might be willing to change her plans. She ended up accepting and now they're set up to go out this Friday (so apparently "I'm going shopping with my sister," means "try harder, stupid". Good to know. I'm going to make a dictionary of this kind of stuff, it'll sell millions.
If you are not a guy, this in fact means "I'm going to ask you out pretty soon but I want to see if you're going to be able to go first before I risk it." To which she answers, "I'm going shopping with my sister," We're both left not knowing what that means. I mean more than the fact that she's going shopping. Does that mean "I'm too busy to go with you that night, or ever for that matter", or is it "Alas! I have some plans I am not able to cancel! Mayaps another day, my love," or does it mean "I kinda have plans but they might be open to change,"? Way too complicated for us (or maybe we're just overthinking this, also a possibility). The conversation between them continued, and so he still asked her out for Friday, figuring he could see if she might be willing to change her plans. She ended up accepting and now they're set up to go out this Friday (so apparently "I'm going shopping with my sister," means "try harder, stupid". Good to know. I'm going to make a dictionary of this kind of stuff, it'll sell millions.
Monday, August 29, 2011
What do you expect from the name of my blog? This will be some rantings
O well, so maybe today it won't be so much ranting. I'm starting this blog for a couple reasons.One, everyone's got one, might as well try to join the cool group, right? Two, I might be using this at work for our website, so I figured I should learn how this thing works.And third, I'm in a creative writing class, and I figured that I could use this sometimes to put some of my random thoughts and, well, rantings, in some form where people can can look at it. Or maybe this will just be some unlooked at website.
Thank goodness for autosaving systems. I just closed my laptop, which generally just turns the screen off but the programs keep going. This time however my computer turned off, I almost lost what I had written, which would have just been obnoxious to write again.
Just had my first day of fall semester, and while I only had two classes, I'm already frightened. The two classes being my creative writing, and my accounting 300 class. Many of you are probably looking at the accounting class and are now thinking "Well of course you should be frightened of that, you fool!" However my creative writing class is going to be pretty intense too, apparently. I don't know how much of the homework in it will be difficult, there's just going to be a lot of it. For instance, every morning, first thing (even before going the bathroom apparently) I'm supposed to just write for 15 minutes whatever comes to mine (first entry, man I have to pee and I'm hungry I wonder what work is going to be like today really I'm hungry I dunno if cereal is going to do it today maybe I can make pancakes... you get the picture) and I have to "Steal Sentences". Where I just listen to people in different situations (aka eavesdropping) and when I hear a good sentence I write it down in a little journal (so just watch out everyone! You may find yourself randomly quoted in my journal, and if it's really good it may get up here on the internet!).
Speaking of the journal, I had to buy it just now at the BYU bookstore. Man that place was PACKED!!!! Heck, all of campus has been a lot more full today. I guess I was spoiled in Spring and Summer term. Before I could pretty easily walk to and from class without having to dodge people, and now I'm constantly shifting and moving and doing backflips to avoid running into people (although landing the backflip is quite difficult to do without hitting anyone, so I may have to cut back on that one). It's strange, to look at this huge mass of people and to try and fathom how each one of them is going through things similar to me. All of them have hopes and fears about this coming year. Each one of them is a unique person, but that's all lost in the shuffle and the bustle of the herd. Occasionally glimpses of their true selves pop out, but for the most part we all become part of the masses. Maybe that's why I don't like big groups. I feel so much is lost and it's hard to appreciate people individually in a large group, not just when we're in large herds like between classes.
But back to the bookstore, it was slightly awkward, not just for the amount of people. For those of you who haven't noticed, I wear cargo pants, which have some lovely nice big pockets. Since I heard I would have to carry around a notebook for my creative writing class, I went into the bookstore looking for a pocket that would fit into a specific pocket. So I'm going around the store, grabbing random notebooks and holding them up to my pocket to see if they would fit. It soon occurred to me that if anyone saw me, they could easily assume that I was planning on stealing one. Just slightly awkward. Luckily, no one asked any questions and I managed to buy a decent notebook and pen for myself.
Like I said, this was a particular rant-y entry. I wonder if most of my entries will be like this or if eventually they'll start making sense. (timey whimey wibbly wobbly). Probably not, I'm too strange for that. So if you enjoy reading the rantings of a madman, good for you, you should be quite entertained. If not, what do I care, go on facebook for my life updates, my rantings are significantly repressed there, not enough room to put them all.
Ta ta!!
Thank goodness for autosaving systems. I just closed my laptop, which generally just turns the screen off but the programs keep going. This time however my computer turned off, I almost lost what I had written, which would have just been obnoxious to write again.
Just had my first day of fall semester, and while I only had two classes, I'm already frightened. The two classes being my creative writing, and my accounting 300 class. Many of you are probably looking at the accounting class and are now thinking "Well of course you should be frightened of that, you fool!" However my creative writing class is going to be pretty intense too, apparently. I don't know how much of the homework in it will be difficult, there's just going to be a lot of it. For instance, every morning, first thing (even before going the bathroom apparently) I'm supposed to just write for 15 minutes whatever comes to mine (first entry, man I have to pee and I'm hungry I wonder what work is going to be like today really I'm hungry I dunno if cereal is going to do it today maybe I can make pancakes... you get the picture) and I have to "Steal Sentences". Where I just listen to people in different situations (aka eavesdropping) and when I hear a good sentence I write it down in a little journal (so just watch out everyone! You may find yourself randomly quoted in my journal, and if it's really good it may get up here on the internet!).
Speaking of the journal, I had to buy it just now at the BYU bookstore. Man that place was PACKED!!!! Heck, all of campus has been a lot more full today. I guess I was spoiled in Spring and Summer term. Before I could pretty easily walk to and from class without having to dodge people, and now I'm constantly shifting and moving and doing backflips to avoid running into people (although landing the backflip is quite difficult to do without hitting anyone, so I may have to cut back on that one). It's strange, to look at this huge mass of people and to try and fathom how each one of them is going through things similar to me. All of them have hopes and fears about this coming year. Each one of them is a unique person, but that's all lost in the shuffle and the bustle of the herd. Occasionally glimpses of their true selves pop out, but for the most part we all become part of the masses. Maybe that's why I don't like big groups. I feel so much is lost and it's hard to appreciate people individually in a large group, not just when we're in large herds like between classes.
But back to the bookstore, it was slightly awkward, not just for the amount of people. For those of you who haven't noticed, I wear cargo pants, which have some lovely nice big pockets. Since I heard I would have to carry around a notebook for my creative writing class, I went into the bookstore looking for a pocket that would fit into a specific pocket. So I'm going around the store, grabbing random notebooks and holding them up to my pocket to see if they would fit. It soon occurred to me that if anyone saw me, they could easily assume that I was planning on stealing one. Just slightly awkward. Luckily, no one asked any questions and I managed to buy a decent notebook and pen for myself.
Like I said, this was a particular rant-y entry. I wonder if most of my entries will be like this or if eventually they'll start making sense. (timey whimey wibbly wobbly). Probably not, I'm too strange for that. So if you enjoy reading the rantings of a madman, good for you, you should be quite entertained. If not, what do I care, go on facebook for my life updates, my rantings are significantly repressed there, not enough room to put them all.
Ta ta!!
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